isitjustme

Oh dear-i need a job by the end of August in Canterbury-this relocation has turned into such a stress! Anyone fancy giving me a job?

Right enough of sitting around and wasting time singing along to the Jerry Springer opera and Across The Universe: As i have had a wasteful but highly musical morning I have decided to have a productive afternoon!

First thing's first-I need to straighten this bird's nest of a barnet formally known as my hair, then head over to Gangie's house to present her with my wardrobe rejects, next over the road to mummy dearest for some quaity time (and to rob her super speedy laptop to stick some stuff on ebay) and then I really need to sort out the washing as I have zero clothes for work.

I will do all of this (and much more) right after my next cup of tea.......

My head! Red wine hangover's are never good......

Does this sound like a book anyones read? I was trying to describe it to Ireland today and he thinks I've dreamt it (I didn't by the way). It's about a boy who lives with his mum in a beauty salon on the outskirts of a big city, and he makes a lot of banoffie pies, joins a pack of orphans in the city and falls in love with a girl with a shaved head. Oh and he defeats the villain of the book with moths. Random I know but I need to know the title because it's really pissing me off now!

A pigeon pooed on me as I was walking to work and yet everyone keeps telling me that this is supposed to mean good luck.....what the fuck! How is bird shit meant to bring me good fortune exactly?

Insomnia is a right old bitch and a half-four in the chuffing morning i finally nodded off only to have to get up less than three hours later for work. I feel fine now but that's only because I have got to that point of sleeplessness where you have gone beyond actually feeling tired so i probably won't be able to sleep tonight either. AND i have a visit from Head Office tomorrow!!!

Anyways, rant over because the rest of my week has been so funny its still making me smile. I went to Girls Go Down on Sunday night which was interesting to say the least! For the record-I consider myself as bi-curious, yes I've had encounters with other girls before but I've never gone all the way with a girl, and after seeing whats on offer I don't think that I ever will!

The lesbians in that room (with the exception of my beautiful friends) were not hot. Which made my mission even harder. I had been set a challenge by my so called friends to chat up and successfully kiss someone there. The rules were simple-the other party was not allowed to know about the mission, it couldn't be anyone that I knew, and I had to make all of the moves so if a random drunk launched herself at me-it wouldn't count.

The Guard and The Gamer pointed out a girl at another table. I checked her out-obese, cropped hair, flannel shirt and pint in hand. I turned back to my friends and scornfully spat 'Oh please, I can do better than that.' As it turns out, I couldn't. I was feeling confident as I glanced around the room secure in the knowledge that i was one of the best looking in the room. However after my attempts of seduction on two fairly attractive females had been rejected, I turned to the group to ask them what I was doing wrong. The Guard told me 'You're a fem so you can't chat up other fems, you need to go for someone butch'

Have you ever tried chatting up a butch lesbian? I have never been so terrified in all my life! These women were so scary but I had a job to do. After giving the eye to a few manly types, I settled upon a girl in glasses who offered me some chewing gum-a cunning flirting tactic if ever I saw one. However as we sat down and started talking-tragedy struck. Firstly this girl was a mutual friend, also she was so nice! We had a good natter about our theatre courses and life in general and then i stumbled upon one of the many sneaky traps that so many of my gay friends complain about; this girl was so nice that I didn't want to snog her for a bet-I wanted to be her friend! She felt exactly the same way and so we're going to Kareoke next week for her birthday.

However-this did not aid my quest and at 5 minutes to midnight I had to sadly accept defeat..... Or did I? With one minute to go I felt a cheeky pinch of my bum. I spun around only to be confronted by the original girl The Guard and The Gamer had chosen for me-I thought what the hell and launched my self onto her lips much to the delight of everyone around us. before spinning around to my friends to meet a cheer of glory. I went to the toilet and when I stepped out of the cubicle realised that she had followed me...... I flashed a wide smile at her before saying 'errrmmmm.....really enjoyed that, thanks and bye!' before barging past her and running to get a cab with everyone else. The last thing we all saw before the cab sped away was her waving from the club door and blowing kisses towards the car window.

And my prize for such an epic win? I get a round of drinks and shots from everyone and I get to choose everyone's songs for Kareoke on Friday night mwah ha ha!

So I'm just about to pop off to bed but before I do I feel like I need to do something exceptionally cool over the next few days as my recent extra curricular activities have been slightly geeky to say the least.

Oh who am I kidding-I've turned into a total nerd! I have just watched the Doctor Who episode on I-player (oh my goodness how fabulous was that by the way!) and before that I was chomping my way through my new Angel Boxset, which I have been watching in accordance with the chronological way of things in the Whedon universe and must finish season three before I can even begin to peel off the shiny plastic of my new season 7 Buffy boxset.
I am also about to start reading Darkly Dreaming Dextor, because, you know, watching the TV show isn't enough for a girl like me.

Like I said, I need to do something (or someone)ridiculously too cool for school to get this whole obsessive fan thing out of my system. I'm sure that Girls Go Down tomorrow night will be a huge help.

In order for you to understand a bit more about this delicate situation we have to go back to 2004. I met The Comedian in the blur of freshers week and thought nothing of it. I mean the amount of people you meet in such a short space of time, and in varying shades of inebriation, its very hard to be friends with absolutely everyone. However The Comedian was determined not to be lost in the crowd and so we began a year long platonic relationship (platonic in the sense that I wasn't attracted to him, he had a girlfriend and was completely infatuated with me, a fact that I was oblivious to).

Clearly this melting pot of a friendship was doomed to failure and after a year it failed quite spectacularly. After a BBQ at his house when we were the only two left, and after a mighty amount of alcohol, he started to tell me all about his feelings that he'd had for me since we first met, one thing led to another and we started kissing....let me make one thing clear. I DIDN'T sleep with him, and I certainly don't make it a habit to steal other people's men. After that night I stopped being friends with the comedian. He finished with his girlfriend shortly afterwards but by that point I had started seeing someone, but he was always in the back of my mind.

As I said I was not attracted to him in the slightest- I'd always considered him as the geeky, cute but bumbling type, but with that kiss it was as if a veil had been lifted and I could see him for the very first time. I liked who I saw. But it wasn't to be. Every time I was single, he wasn't and vise-versa. Eventually after the second year when i moved back home I was able to focus on me and Matt and forget all about him. Except i didn't. Every so often, one of us would be in touch, whether it was a casual drink at New Years, a text late in the evening or a cheeky message on Facebook neither of us seemed to be able to leave the other one alone.

So anyway back to the drunken conversation in Barcelona. I had just told all of this to Ireland and Bottle-Pack. I finished with telling them my recent discovery that he was single and so was I. We came up with a highly sophisticated and complicated plan...I would message him on Facebook, and from there seduce him into indulging in a dirty weekend with me. (Ok so maybe in retrospect it was a very obvious and simple plan). Once I was back in Ireland's house, i logged on, to discover a message from The Comedian asking me to visit him as soon as I could. What a coincidence I thought and set about arranging it.

I turned up to his on Friday, after a short soak in the tub, we went into the bedroom and stayed there for pretty much the whole weekend. I had the best sex of my life: the poor boy can hardly walk!And I finally got to indulge in some bondage, I've been trying to find a willing volunteer for ages but you'd be surprised how many guys shit themselves when you suggest a bit of tying up to them.

I had such a fun time, we went out, he cooked for me, I met some of his friends and it was so good to catch up. But the weekend is over, and I guess so are we. If I'm being honest with myself, I would like nothing better than a relationship with The Comedian but i also see that we
just aren't going in the same direction, it's best to see the time that we spent together as what it was-no strings sex between people who are fond of each other. I know that I should kiss goodbye to this boy and forget about it but I just can't wait to see if he's up for another session once he gets back from the Fringe...

Its been a long time since i last wrote a blog, but since all my friends are busy, and since this isn't exactly the type of stuff you want to confide to your family, i decided what an excellent way to get things off my chest. So here I am...again!

Well so much has changed since my last entry. For starters, I've decided to up sticks and move back down south. I never thought I would be moving away from here so soon, i mean I've not even been back for two years, but this scene has gotten so stale. Every night out just feels like the same night being extended on and on and I just don't feel like there's anything for me to stick around for anymore.

I've been feeling like this for the past few months and things finally came to a head when I went to Barcelona with Ireland and Bottle-Pack. I could just forget about everything and everyone else and just concentrate on being myself and having fun. At the end of the trip, Ireland kept hinting that he wanted to move back to where we went to university but didn't want to do it on his own. My stomach dropped-was this a hint to me, did he really want to live with me again after so long?

I mean don't get me wrong, when we were part of the 'Shipman Sexies' we had an absolute screamarties, sex, Dallas, alcohol, pot and junk food-everything a bright eyed student could wish for. I still count those two years as the best of my life so far. However the downside of this was that our house was always a squalor:dishes didnt just remain unwashed, they actually grew whole colonies of undiscovered new life forms. The only time our kitchen floor ever got mopped was when the washing machine broke and vomited water everywhere. Ireland was always my favorite house mate though, and still one of my best friends to this day. Whenever the drama's of the real world got too much to handle, or when another house mate would decide to regress back to their teenage years and throw a hissy fit over another pointless issue, me and him would just laugh and run up the stairs to his room where nothing and no-one else mattered.

When we got back, I took a couple of days to think about it, until his hinting became unbelievably transparent and I had to say yes. He screamed, I screamed and now I cannot fucking wait for September to arrive.

So that's the future bit covered, now the tough bit-the goodbye to the past....Oh God this is tough to type. Ok, so when we in Barcelona, (inevitably after a few sangrias)the subject got around to love, or rather the lack of it in all of our lives. All of us had an object of desire in mind who just wasn't desiring us back-in my case it was The Comedian.